who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
