It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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