im gay
i know
yea but for you.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It was a blind-side dick pic.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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