I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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