her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.