U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!