Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??