Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set