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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Good morning to you

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?

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• (352): View more from Florida

  We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?

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• (707): View more from California

  Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.

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