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• (703): View more from Virginia

  we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'

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• (214): View more from Texas

  Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.

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• (805): View more from California

  Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (516): View more from New York

  That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.

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• (310): View more from California

  I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.

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• (209): View more from California

  I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.

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