just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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