I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue