google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
