ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
