Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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