Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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