it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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