you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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