I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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