Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
