Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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