Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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