Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
