You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
How external is "for external use only"?
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
