I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
