I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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