If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
