someone get that fucking seahorse.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
