so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
