I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
