do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
