Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
