I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
