no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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