Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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