so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
