it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
