what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
