Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
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