I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
