That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
