Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
