I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
