This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
