I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
