There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
