im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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