REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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