just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
