sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
