guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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