i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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