my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
porn star boner night. come get it.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
