worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
