The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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