Do you still have your period?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
