The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
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In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
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Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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