But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
