Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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