Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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