we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
How naked do you want me to be?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
