To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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