Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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