careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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