p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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