I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Randomize
