Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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