i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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