Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
